Face Forward

To say its been a turbulent year for me would be an understatement on the verge of comical. I lost my book deal, had a pulmonary embolism, dealt with the physical and mental fall out of getting off a medication I’d been on for nearly two decades, and then decided to abruptly quit my job of 13 years. All with the world burning in the background.

The good news is, the worst seems to be behind me (knock on all the wood, every wood) and I’ve survived all the big scary changes- in no small part thanks to an amazing support system that I know I’m tremendously lucky to have. Next week I start a new job and I’m really looking forward to it. The weight off my shoulders from leaving a career that was frankly devouring me has restored my sorely missed optimism. I feel like I’ve got the opportunity here to stop, take a breath, and figure out what I want my future to look like.

That housecleaning aside, what I came here to talk about was specifically the future of my writing projects and the fate of The Spellbound Alchemist.

When the small press that picked up my debut closed this past February, I knew the best balm to the crushing disappointment was action. I dusted off my query letter and got right back in the trenches. I got some decent feedback and I couple full requests from fabulous agents whose eventual passes I still wear with a grateful badge of honor. In the meantime, I met an amazing critique partner who went through my MS with a fine-toothed comb and, through their careful guidance, I gave the whole book a careful scrub and polish. (Love you Ama <3 Cannot wait to have An Artistic Deception on my shelf one day)

I sent Spellbound back out for one final round in the trenches. As the rejection letters filter in, I accept that the window on this leg of the journey is closing. The question is, what next?

I’ve thought about it a lot, and the way I see it, I have two options: shelve or self-pub.

Shelving isn’t giving up. I have other books I want to work on and I know I can come back to this story if I find my way into the traditional publishing realm through a later project. However, my understanding of how great a role luck and timing plays into entering that realm has me asking- what do I want out of traditional publishing that I can’t gain from self-publishing?

How long am I willing to wait for stars that may never align?

Two years ago, I wouldn’t have considered self-publishing because I honestly didn’t think I was ready, that I was “good enough.” For better or worse, I needed the vetting of the querying process to confirm it for me. And I feel like it has. I’m proud of the work I’ve written and my desire to share it far outweighs the draw of any sort or fame or notoriety that isn’t even guaranteed by traditional publishing anyway. I just want to write stuff and have folks read it- even if its not all that many. I don’t think I’m patient enough to wait.

I’m still mulling my options but if the next couple months turn up no more leads for the trad path, I think it might be time for a new direction.

Thanks for anyone who’s been following along. In the meantime, here’s the official playlist for The Spellbound Alchemist.

I’m going to make this book real, one way or another. Talk again soon!